indingrl.01.06.2011

Changes inside ME

Blog Post created by indingrl.01.06.2011 on Jul 26, 2017

I am a recovering nicotine addict today and the changes God has done inside of ME are amazing...I am growing up to be a mature adult  INSIDE MY HEART AND MIND......setting boundaries...selecting friends that are grown up on the inside too...I don't accept TOXIC people anymore...taking on their responsibilities..... just so they will like ME....I am being taught that the CHOICES I make and the WORDS I speak...I will suffer the CONSEQUENCES in MY everyday life....I NEVER knew there was so much responsibility to ME...then to OTHERS...in relationships....to just enjoy the company of MY friends with no HIDDEN motives...it is REAL love to sit with another in silence and just enjoy quite....I am so grateful to ALL MY teachers here who taught ME by their WALKING THEIR WORDS...you taught ME to live without out using NICOTINE....in the beginning of MY recovery I just didn't believe I could live without NICOTINE... ALL of you here SUGGESTED to take it easy and read and blog.....NOT ONE PUFF EVER...N.O.P.E ....Thank you for helping ME to grow up inside and come and share also for ME...I was taught.... the H.O.W.....Honesty in myself.....Open-minded..... to remain teachable...Willingness to accept MY failures.....mistakes....joys...sorrows...and NOT USE NICOTINE as a way to cope or celebrate.....to NOT even think of NICOTINE.....to be HEALED IN MY HEART AND MY MIND.... which God renews daily for it is written ...I have the mind of Christ.....to think and remember God first...myself...then others...always letting love lead me and to share MY experience...I used to smoke 50 cigs a day to cope with the inside of me....NOW I pray and God leads ME to use the serenity prayer to cope with inside of ME and what is going on in ME....this MOMENT.... that is the emotion of sadness and gratefulness..... my friend Mary is in hospice with bone cancer....Mary says she trusts Jesus...she had love Jesus all her days and is grateful to have lived a long good life in Him....Mary always wrote notes...sent cards.....gave gifts of love away.....and made calls to any WHOSOEVERS.... to bring the joy and Jesus love....she did this to ME...unconditional love when I was sad inside and when we met at bible study...she gave me a love gift to let ME know I am loved by God and Mary...today I am able to accept...REALITY...and be very grateful to God and thank him for letting ME know such a beautiful inside adult woman.....CHANGES inside ME keep growing and growing to be just like MY Lord Jesus.....grown up on the inside and outside...thanks for letting me vent on my emotions in check.....please take what helps and let go of the rest.......gentle hug.

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