Still here, still free

Blog Post created by icandothis207 on Oct 25, 2019

Just wanted to drop a line and say I'm still around and still smoke free (164 days) - yay!  I haven't logged on here for several months now.  About the time the weather started to be nice in my neck of the woods.  I made the decision to get out in it and thoroughly enjoy it this year and that's exactly what I did.  I lived and enjoyed life to the fullest without having to keep taking myself out of the equation to smoke a cigarette.  It was incredibly freeing.  As we are heading into November, and it gets chillier and chillier, I can't lie, thoughts of smoking have been creeping back in again.  Sometimes they're passing annoyances, but sometimes they're a bit more ominous.  The frequency is also increasing.  I suspect I am dealing with a bit of Seasonal Affective Disorder or perhaps mild depression that I covered up all these years with smoking.  I ordered some natural supplements to help combat what I think is going on (should be here Monday).  There have been a few times over the past month that really threw me for a loop with the intensity of the desire to smoke - or I really should say the desire to experience "having something to look forward to" or the "mood boost" or "reward" for a task at hand.  Objectively I know most of those feelings were just a reprieve from nicotine withdrawal but some of it was real as it did release dopamine on a regularly scheduled interval.  Keeping my fingers crossed the supplements help! Sorry to be one of those "friends" that only reaches out when in need...