I have been on the playground, but hiding.

Blog Post created by gregp136 on Sep 18, 2018

See that group of pine trees over there?  Past the swing set, and near the jungle gym?  That is where I have been, watching everyone play and have a good time.  I see kids in the sand box, new kids who are just learning to beat the nicotine bully, and the older kids, the elders, helping them learn tricks to outsmart them.  Kids having fun with their new pink lungs and running and laughing, and playing tag and all sorts of games.  


I saw many of my friends that I knew who were proudly showing us that the bully could be beat.  I saw OldBones-Larry come through as he was heading to the NML desert to help those on that path.  I haven't seen dwwms lately, but I am sure he is out hiking his mountain and breathing fresh air.


And I stayed hiding.


I was so happy as new kids came, and were having fun.  I was worried as I read about the health struggles of some, and the nicotine struggles of a few others.  I think one or two saw me, but maybe not.


But I stayed hidden.


For those new kids who are doing so well here, that I haven't met, I think I should give a little background.  Thanks to this playground, I was able to quit smoking on St. Patty's day of 2017.  I used people on this site for support, but I also enjoyed talking about this playground.  It helped me beat the bully who hangs around and tries to get us to smoke again.  I made it through NML, but then found out that while I quit smoking, I still had not learned to deal with the feelings that I often used Nicotine to avoid.  A big one hit me and I failed.  


I have quit a few times in the last year, and yes, it was about a year ago that I gave into the playground bully.  And so in the last month or so, I was here, but hiding.  I needed your support to set a new quit date and stick with it.  And I know many will say that I should not have been hiding, but for me it was right.  For me I needed to use this wonderful playground for a reward.


So I am back, as an old new kid here on the playground.  


I think I will see how fast I can go on the merry go round......