I love coming here to the playground when life is wonderful, and the sun is shining. I love to come when I feel like playing with friends. I love coming here when I just want to hug people and have fun, and looking at the beautiful flowers and trees, and sky and other kids!
But sometimes we don't feel that way. Sometimes we are real grumpy and we come to the playground and really don't want to talk to anyone but we want to kick the tire swing, and pound the sand in the sandbox and yell real loud at the merry go round for going too slow and just feeling all grumpy.
Well, finally, after about 4 months, I am back at being a non smoker. That is good. And yes, I am feeling so grumpy inside I, well, I could use some REALLY naughty words a lot. And maybe I will.
One of the things that I always find interesting is that every one of us are different, and so are our quits. And yes, every one of my quits has been different. Feeling this much grumpiness at less than 24 hours is very different.
But I come to the playground, not to spread cheer, but to let go of some of the anger. And to share my story because writing it down helps. And to let everyone know that I know this will pass, and I will go on to the next feelings soon, and no matter where it takes me, it will settle down and I will be back to normal (almost) non smoking Greg and yes, until then I will be deep in the park yelling and screaming at the dirt for being so dirty!
