I peek in through the gate. Regardless of who it is like where are live, the sun is always shining on the playground, and I can smell trees and someone starting a barbecue. There is a light breeze, and I want to kick off my shoes and run through the grass. I see the swing with a few of the kids swinging away to see how high they can get. I see a group at the slide of kids laughing and joking about how one just went down backwards. I see another group looking at an interesting bug that just crawled out of the sandbox. I see a lot of old friends there, and some new kids too.
So I bravely, yet with hesitation, walk into the playground. I did not know that one of my past blogs would turn out to be so prophetic(No Embarrassment Allowed! ). It is not easy coming back to the playground, after being gone, and failing, but I know I must if I want to succeed. And I do want to succeed.
I will not dwell on the causes of my smoking again. It is my story, and we all have them. I am pushing beyond that and starting fresh. I need this community, and I know I will be accepted back onto the playground. That is the type of group this is. People who understand addiction. They may be a bit terse if they think you are making excuses, but that is out of love.
And so I return. You will see me on the playground a lot, and humbling giving and receiving support. I will succeed this time, and I am so happy to see all the successes of all the old friends here.
I am back, and I need someone to push me on the swing.