I peek in through the gate. Regardless of who it is like where are live, the sun is always shining on the playground, and I can smell trees and someone starting a barbecue. There is a light breeze, and I want to kick off my shoes and run through the grass. I see the swing with a few of the kids swinging away to see how high they can get. I see a group at the slide of kids laughing and joking about how one just went down backwards. I see another group looking at an interesting bug that just crawled out of the sandbox. I see a lot of old friends there, and some new kids too.
So I bravely, yet with hesitation, walk into the playground. I did not know that one of my past blogs would turn out to be so prophetic(https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/people/gregp136/blog/2017/04/27/no-embarrassment-allowed ). It is not easy coming back to the playground, after being gone, and failing, but I know I must if I want to succeed. And I do want to succeed.
I will not dwell on the causes of my smoking again. It is my story, and we all have them. I am pushing beyond that and starting fresh. I need this community, and I know I will be accepted back onto the playground. That is the type of group this is. People who understand addiction. They may be a bit terse if they think you are making excuses, but that is out of love.
And so I return. You will see me on the playground a lot, and humbling giving and receiving support. I will succeed this time, and I am so happy to see all the successes of all the old friends here.
I am back, and I need someone to push me on the swing.
