According to the calendar, I have been smoke free for 22 days. That is pretty impressive. Darn it! Wow.
And yes, it is completely meaningless.
What matters is today, this morning. And yes, it has been a struggle.
I have been slapped around by urges and triggers all morning! I tell them that I am at 22 days and they laugh! I tell them I will beat them and they laugh some more. Doubt enters my brain. I start to wonder. Am I right? Is my addiction right?
And I come here, and I start writing. I let my feeling out, share my weakness with all of you. And I am starting to feel better.
No, the number doesn't matter. 1, or 12, or 59, or 311. or 993. We are all here, and we deal with what our addiction throws at us. And together we fight it off.
I just took 44 minutes writing this, and as I wrote it, and erased it, and edited it, I breathed, and yes, all of you, without knowing it, by reading this in the near future, have helped me through another crisis.
Yes, another successful day ahead!
Thank you all,