Minding my own business, had just cooked and eaten dinner, was cleaning up after, and decided to make a pineapple upside down cake. Not bothering anyone.
It hit me.
Hard.
Like day and night!
I am filled with rage (luckily I did not throw the glass across the room that refused to fit in the dishwasher correctly).
My body and brain is begging for the nicotine.
I would love to blame all of you because none of you told me that making a Pineapple upside down cake would be a trigger!!!
(Sorry attempt at humor)
But yes, for whatever reason, This is way worse than yesterday.
And no, I am not beaten. But WOW!
Just Wow!
I wonder if I have trained my body into this. Many times I have quit smoking on a sat. Morning. Hung in there fine until Monday morning and then would fail Monday at work. I started a day early this time. Just a thought.
But yes, just writing this has helped. And telling my wife has helped.
And thinking of ripping out the dishwasher and throwing it across the road REALLY helps.
But I won't.
