TO BE OR NOT TO BE...
Having read William Shakespeare in college days, never felt this glorious talented writer expressed feelings in so powerful few words.
I remember the days when I was smoking. During those days, at least once in a day, it could be more than once, but at least once a day, the question used to come in mind, I am smoker, To be or not to be… ? Why do I smoke? Am I doing right thing? I must quit. Immediately the next moment the great (?) taste of that cigarette used to get spoiled.
Days would have passed, so the months, and may be years, the question use to trouble while smoking …to be or not to be.
So one fine day, back in November 2013, I decided to come out smoking habit. Initial couple of days gone in ambition, determination, anxiety blaming cigarette smoking. How good you feel, when you quit smoking etc.
Then came the hardest times of cravings, and once again this question came in mind “to be or not to be?” a Ex smoker? No, really not. Better to smoker again. Every moment is troubling me, I look in the mirror, my face used to look like zero, my energy was drained down the water, my feelings were absurd, tongue did not taste better, boredom across the life, so on and on…
Because cravings were killing me, from within and out, and what we call no man land (or no mind land? ) etc were absolutely pulling out of quit smoking decision. Ex Smoker.. To be or not to be? And many times the answers were stop this madness of quit smoking. Rather be happy with your smoking habit.
Either way to be or not to be..hmmm
Persistent no no no to nicotine continued post November 2013. As the days passed, weeks passed, months passed, I do started asking.. to be or not to be?
And the answer from with in my mind was Yes,
to be Ex Smoker… and Not to be Smoker ..!