Little Spoiled Brat Inner-Addict

Blog Post created by forgivememyhrt on May 20, 2020

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Day 8: Grr! Damn printer. Wrong toner cartridge- idiots. Now I have to- I have no idea where the receipt is. Idiots. What did I pay for the wrong toner cartridge? 100 bucks? Too much to blow off. Me: idiot for not keeping reciepts. I deserve to lose 100 bucks if I'm such an idiot. I hate receipts. I hate incompetence. Sick of technology.

HAS THIS EVER HAPPENED TO YOU? On day 8 of quitting? " Ooh... just a puff or two; because You're mad. Because you deserve it. Because...."

I thought this got easier as the smoke-free days totalled up; a continuum : from "hell week" to - easier. But my inner-addict is bouncing off the inner walls more than ever.

No worries; I'll not touch a cigarette. It helps so much that I just can't let all you folks down. And I admire so much now, the folks who have years under their belt. I bet we "newbies" seem like a bunch of whiners, huh?

I've got my Eucalyptus pen. I invented it: just a cheap pen with the guts taken out, a dowl soaked in Eucalyptus oil inside. Cool, refreshing, and from my little research , kind of good for you in moderation. (not vapor, just fumes)

I ran it past my nurse cousin: she thinks it's brilliant and wonderful, etc.

DISCLAIMER: I AM NOT RECOMMENDING THIS AND SOME PEOPLE ARE ALLERGIC TO EUCALYPTUS. I ENCOURAGE YOU TO RESEARCH THE BENEFITS OF EUCALYPTUS, ETC.

It's just helping me right now. I'm pretty sure that the best thing to put in your lungs is air. DK

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maryfreecig May 20, 2020 4:51 PM
You are staying smober and that's the important thing. I trashed a HP printer because it would not accept a cartridge made by HP. Wrote a nasty review. That was early on in my smobriety. Everything was an emergency back then. Now it's nostalgic and no I do not think of you as a whiner but as another quitter who is finding your way out of the addiction--so worth the trouble, yes it is. Thanks for sharing your crazed moment. Happens. You are doing great.
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YoungAtHeart May 20, 2020 4:56 PM
As much as I hate to be the bearer of bad tidings (tydings?), I must note that you are still early in your quit journey. The first couple of weeks suck the most - but the suckiness isn't gone for awhile yet. The only way out, though, is through.
You did WELL to quiet that inner brat! The more often you do that, the quieter will be the screams for attention.
Life is always going to happen. How you deal with it tells the tale. Today you dealt with it WELL! Good for you!
Nancy
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Karen333 May 20, 2020 4:58 PM
Interesting, do you sniff this pen or put it in your mouth? I love the smell of eucalyptus. I have read on this site that putting Vicks under your nose works for some to relieve cravings. I agree, being angry does set the craving trigger, good for you for figuring something out
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- forgivememyhrt @ Karen333 on May 20, 2020 5:17 PM
  You use it like a cigarette. At meetings it just looks like you have a pen in your mouth, thoughtfully.
  What's so cool about it is that you can snort it just as well, one nostril at a time. Love the "opening up" feeling.
  (I have allergies too, which heats everything up, so I appreciate that cool feeling). Vicks is Eucalyptus and spearmint.
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  - Karen333 @ forgivememyhrt on May 20, 2020 5:18 PM
    I may have to try it!
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  - elvan @ forgivememyhrt on May 20, 2020 6:53 PM
    Anger was a really rough trigger for me to get past. I came here every morning and every evening and sometimes in between if I felt like I needed it. I quit countless times before this quit but this one really is my "forever" quit. I am so glad to be free. You are doing great...you are NOT an idiot...it's hard to get used to trying to treat ourselves with the same courtesy we show to others.
    Ellen
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sweetplt May 20, 2020 8:56 PM
Hi Hon ... You are doing super and yes made it through hell week, but Nancy Youngatheart.7.4.12 is so right...you are early in your journey...it takes time to feel ok in your new smoke free skin. Remember You are saying No to Nico...he doesn’t like it...he is trying to get you back, however, the more you say NO, the stronger you get and the weaker Nico gets...sometimes this journey is “taking things minute to minute”... it comes, but a lot of tears, anger, madness are shed first...You did good coming here and writing about your feelings...hoping tomorrow is a better one for you....~ Colleen 534 DOF
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Barbscloud May 21, 2020 8:51 AM
Congrats on day 8. You're doing fabulous. I had a similar experience when I first quit. I was trying to set up a new printer and nothing worked. I finally called HP and part of what I needed was missing. There is nothing more frustrating. I was definitely on the Ex that day!
The psychological part of quitting takes some work. We don't have those cigarettes to turn to. Learning new behaviors is part of the journey.
Keep moving forward.
I like your invention.
Barb
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Kdot1st May 24, 2020 12:28 PM
I'm on day 81 & my inner spoiled brat still whines at least once a day. Doesn't last but a few minutes but still the cravings there.
Might hafta try that. I have all kinds of oils for my diffusers. Plus the car one has a replacement wick that should fit in a pen perfectly. Then again no telling how many cut straws I've used & lost. I'd probably lose the pen & the wick. I lose everything... including receipts. That why I pretty much only go to Walmart & pay with Walmart Pay. That way the receipt is automatically added to my purchase history with a return button. Easy peasy. Still haven't figured out why when you pay the money comes out of your account immediately but when you return it takes 5 to 7 days to put the money back in though.

You got this. Just continues to squash the whiny child any way you can.

Karen
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- forgivememyhrt @ Kdot1st on May 26, 2020 1:25 PM
  I love the way you write. You may have to write something...
  There's a guy, Agustin Burroughs, who writes just about his life; non-fiction musings. He is a top-selling A-list author. Amazing because, while some authors work on tomes for decades, researching, etc., Augustin sits down and writes a book in 3 weeks.
  I read anything he comes out with. Why? Because his writing is SO CANDID, it's fascinating. Kind of a "musing as I go" style.
  I guess I'm saying that YES, you can be an author, yes, you do have something worth publishing.
  
  I don't know how I got off on this tangent... I thought I was writing to you, but maybe I was writing to me. OXOX, D.
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  - Kdot1st @ forgivememyhrt on May 27, 2020 12:13 AM
    You have made my week. You have no idea. I used to keep a journal that I just talked to about whatever came to mind. But I usually would lose it or couldn't find a pen that I liked or just find something else to do. I have pretty severe & obvious ADD. I change subjects often and a lot of times will go back to a previous subject without warning while talking. Ooohhhhh squirrel....
    I do enjoy writing and I used to do proofreading for teachers & staff at my kids schools. You'd be surprised how many written mistakes teachers make in worksheets, letters to parents or even their own further education. That said, I could proofread my own musings & rearrange things so they could be followed by others.
    I've never thought I was any good at it though or anyone would be interested in reading. Honestly, I never thought I was any good at much of anything useful. I know a little bit about a lot of things but not really a lot about many things.
    I just wanted you to know that your kind words meant the world to me in the middle of a very dark week to come.
    Thank you so much
    Karen
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  - Kdot1st @ forgivememyhrt on May 27, 2020 1:00 AM
    See also message
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Little Spoiled Brat Inner-Addict

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