For the first couple of days I've been under the weather. I'm pretty sure that 42 days of not smoking had a little something to do with it. So, as I was feeling pretty gucky, my friend sent me a video on a woman named, Anita Moorjani. You can read her story if you're so inclined, but I found the timing of her delivery of this video not only a strange coincidence, but a welcomed message. It was a video on loving ourselves and what it means to put our authentic self above being positive. The reason this resonated with me was because I feel that we really do think we need to put on a brave face for others, even if we hardly feel brave and often times when we feel weak and afraid. I'm not kidding you, I honestly felt pretty darn weak these past couple of days, even questioning if not smoking was the right thing to do, but this gal, Anita mentioned how not being honest about how we think or feel is damaging to us because, deep down inside we really do have moments of weakness. I just wanted to let you all know that it's totally fine to acknowledge that not smoking is tough and that there are times you just want to crawl under a rock and forget about the world for a couple of days (more if needed). I think it is what makes us more honest to ourselves and what makes us even better humans. I saw a pack of cigarettes my husband left behind. He forgot to take them to work. I looked at them, wished them well, then sent them to the back of the cabinet. I can't say I didn't miss them. For whatever reason I did. I felt like crying a little, maybe feeling a little sorry for myself? I chose not to smoke. I remember reading that on here, about how we choose not to smoke. I chose not to. Wasn't easy, but I made it for myself.
LOVE you all ♥ So thankful for this place and you people.
