I gave myself the weekend to see how I would do with everyone being home. I didn't have too much of an issue with it. I did freak myself out a little, as I had a lighter sitting on a table outside and went over to grab it. As soon as I did, I dropped it back on the table. I had a strange moment of panic. I'm not going to feel sorry for myself because, the way that I look at it, I can't feel sorry for addiction. I keep reminding myself that I'm worth more than one of those things.
Like many of you who are experiencing the cravings and feeling like crap, I fight through it. There's a part of me that wants to just forget I ever smoked and another part of me that feels like remembering and working my way through that is important. I wonder if alcoholics deal with that too? Today, I made the choice not to smoke. I am about to get out and go for a walk. Thankfully, I have the day off so I'm going to just get a few things done here and read through your blogs and other things. Keep strong and choose you. ♥