I used to dream that I could fly

Blog Post created by elvan on Feb 2, 2020

Now, I dream that I can walk up a flight of stairs or just walk briskly from point A to point B without gasping for breath.  I remember the days when people would say hello to me and not look terrified for me...now, complete strangers approach me and ask, "Are you alright?"  Do you need to sit down or have a drink of water?  Sometimes, I can only answer by shaking my head because I cannot get enough air in to speak.  

I went to the store yesterday and my phone rang right after I walked in, it was my husband and he said he didn't know where I was.  I was having a particularly difficult time breathing and he asked me why I sounded so short of breath.  I said C.O.P.D., you might have heard of it.  I got out the words to ask him what he needed because I KNEW he wanted something...he said our son had eaten two dinners he had saved in the freezer.  I said there was no way that he would have done that but I would get him something.  I forgot to ask what he wanted and I really did not particularly care.  He was lucky, they had a bunch of stuff on sale for Super Bowl parties so he was happy when I got home and brought the groceries in.  Can't say I was particularly happy but along with the shortness of breath and the fatigue comes irritability, just one more "gift" I have given myself.  I am in a particularly challenging place right now....good thing I know it will pass.


DO take better care of yourself than I did of myself...I huff and I puff and I blow myself down.