Share your quitting journey
I have really been trying to blog for a while but I broke a couple of ribs and then, when they were healing, I aspirated a sesame seed and ended up with an exacerbation of my COPD and pneumonia AND, of course, my back was killing me throughout everything and then my computer broke. I really felt like I could not take much more. I was crouched down over a little tablet like Schroeder in the Peanuts comic playing the piano BUT, I was going crazy because the tablet had its own ideas of what it wanted to do. The real estate taxes had to be paid and, of course, groceries have to be bought and prescriptions filled. Many of you know that my little blonde cat, Bijou, has been seriously ill. The vet settled on a diagnosis of Toxoplasmosis because she really could not figure out what it was or IS. She is no longer having seizures but she is also no longer able to hold herself up on her back legs...I carry her to the litter box several times a day and keep track of making sure that she is urinating and having bowel movements...unfortunately, she sometimes has bowel movements on my bed, which is where she sleeps and pretty much spends ALL of her time. I have it padded so I can change the top layers without much effort...fortunately, her movements are very solid and dry. I no longer think she is having seizures, I believe that she has some spinal issue that causes her to have difficulty moving her bowels without standing on her back legs. I hold her up in the litter box but if I am not home, she goes on the bed. Sounds disgusting, I know but I am being diligent in making sure that she is clean and her bedding is clean. She plays like a kitten when she plays...she is alert, her appetite is good, she just cannot use the lower part of her body. I have no idea if this will continue to progress or even what it is, I give her massages with a tennis ball because those help ME with my scoliosis.
I am working tomorrow and then again next Wednesday because they need someone to be there to accept deliveries. I asked if I could get some hours because they are closing next week and I cannot possibly afford to lose a paycheck, no matter how small it is. I am hoping to get my computer repaired and be back to "normal" although, I am not sure that I will ever be completely caught up on all that I missed. Please know that I think of all of you and I say prayers that your journeys will get easier.
I went to the store today and when I exited, a young woman who was smoking and clearly distracted, literally blew an entire mouthful of smoke into my face. She looked horrified and asked if she had really just blown all that smoke into my face. I said yes, not in an angry way although I was seething...and I kept on walking as she was apologizing behind me. NOT NICE!
Love you all,
Ellen
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