I was reminded of this blog I wrote in April of 2014, around three months into my quit. I reposted it a while ago but I cannot remember when. Someone said she was going to make crazy quilts for her kids who are getting married and I said I would see if I could find the blog. Found the blog...LOST the person. Figures. I can turn around and forget ANYTHING.
Here it is:
Become an Ex is a lot like a crazy quilt. My understanding of a crazy quilt is that is it all kinds of different fabrics sewn together into a quilt, not necessarily in any sort of pattern. It CAN be in a pattern or it can just be randomly put together. I think that pretty much describes all of us and how we are “sewn” together randomly. Each piece is different and some pieces are bigger than others, some are older and more frayed, some are almost new looking. There are pieces of silk, wool, velvet, denim, camo, madras plaid, polka dots, bright colors, dark colors, fancy lace, dotted swiss, pastels, and nearly invisible colors. There is virtually every kind of fabric that exists in this quilt and every shape and every size you can imagine. When a piece of the quilt is torn off or falls off, there is always another piece of fabric that can replace it. It’s never going to be exactly the same, but there will always be another piece. The quilt, like, Becomeanex.org will grow and grow and will remain intact and will become stronger, impenetrable in a way. The quilt will be there to throw over the shoulders of someone who is struggling; it will be there to comfort and to celebrate. Think of yourself as a piece of this quilt and hang on, be ready for challenges and be ready for celebrations. Be ready to hold someone else on so they won’t be the missing piece of fabric, let’s all put this quilt together and make sure it is there when one of us needs it. It’s pretty big and it can cover a whole bunch of people at one time. You can be covered by it or lay on it and just feel its strength and its diversity…think about what kind of fabric you are. I am a pretty worn piece of denim but I am also pretty strong, all things considered. I would like to be covered and comforted by those velvet and silk pieces, or maybe just a worn out tee shirt. The quilt is within your reach, always, but you have to be smoke free, there will be no smell of smoke on this quilt, there will be no burn holes in it. The fabric may not be perfect because of previous damage but there will be no future damage. Cover yourself with the quilt or lay down on it in the sunlight or make it into a magic carpet and go for a ride. You choose what to do with it as long as you hang on.