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Share your quitting journey

Tired, in pain, and so sad

elvan
Member
1 27 339

I am exhausted, my back hurts, my sciatica is relentless, and I got news that my granddaughter has been diagnosed with lupus.  She is 19, she is an athletic and beautiful young woman who is a sophomore in college.  Lupus can be devastating to organs including the heart and lungs, so far, she is experiencing fatigue and some chest pain.  She was tested three times at three different labs and the test results were positive every time.  I had to stop myself from crying at work today.  My brother in law is an ER doc in NY state and he graduated from the University of Buffalo, that is where she will be going to school.  I talked to my sister last night and asked her to please ask him if he knows anyone she can see to try to get this under control before  it manifests itself in other ways.  My heart is aching for her, she is named Ellen, just like me, she is the light of my daughter's life.  My daughter has RA, like I do.  I am saying prayers and doing as much research as I can on this horrible disease.  My daughter asked me for my recommendation for a doctor but I have not lived there in more than 22 years.  Any docs I knew have probably retired by now.  My brother in law is only five years younger than I am but he is still practicing medicine and still has connections.  Please include my darling Ellen in your prayers, let them get this under control before it does damage.  I am going to bed soon, I know it is okay to cry...as soon as I get this pain under control, I will try to sleep.

My love to all of you.

Ellen

27 Comments
About the Author
Retired RN, worked ICU/ER developed RA in early 90's, unable to work because of brittle bones from high dose steroids. Diagnosed with COPD 5 yrs ago but sure it was there and progressing long before. Live with severe chronic pain, degenerative disc disease, had both upper lobes of my lungs removed in 2015. Struggle with shortness of breath. Work in son's cafe as a cashier 2 days a week to be around people. I am a people/animal person. Lost my home and three cats in a fire on my ten month anniversary of quitting smoking. Never thought of smoking, knew it wouldn't help anything.