I still have a great deal to learn about the site and getting around. There are things about the old site that I miss but I think I am becoming somewhat more comfortable. For some reason, I feel less connected to people and hey YOU, PEOPLE, I MISS YOU! I have counted on this site every day since I quit 1,111 days ago. That number seems like it should have some “magical” significance. I am not sure what but it’s a lot of numbers, it’s a lot of days of freedom.
My freedom from smoking is invaluable, I don’t miss one minute of smoking. When I have an occasional “memory” of smoking, it really is nothing that I have to work to dismiss, it’s kind of like a gnat. Considering the fact that I smoked for 47 years, that’s pretty remarkable. I so wanted to be able to say “this is my Forever Quit” when I first started 1,111 days ago, I can’t tell you exactly when I knew for sure that it was but I CAN tell you that lots of really challenging things happened that would most certainly have given me an excuse to smoke in the past…on my 10 month anniversary, I got up and wrote a blog celebrating how far I had come and then I went to work. That afternoon, my husband called to tell me that our house was on fire. We lost everything we owned, but most of all, we lost three beloved cats. It’s been over two years now and we have a new house on the same lot, I cannot talk about the fire without crying. I cannot think of those cats without crying. The loss was enormous and I will certainly never get over it. They died of smoke inhalation…their beautiful little bodies were perfect when we buried them. I never thought of smoking, NEVER, what possible good would it have done? Would it have brought my babies back? Would all of the family photographs have been returned, all of the kids’ school papers? Obviously not. If you ever think of smoking PLEASE ask yourself what it would change, smoking does not relieve pain whether it is physical or emotional, smoking steals your breath, I have COPD and had both of my upper lobes of my lungs removed a year after the fire. I would probably be a candidate for a lung transplant at some point although I am not sure. My most recent low dose CT scan showed “One or more nodules that are likely benign.” It also showed something else that the letter I received did not identify, it said that I needed to see my doctor as soon as possible to “discuss these results and determine the next step in your medical care.” I found this out just before I left on vacation and I have an appointment on Monday, the 6th. There is no way that I could have gotten it moved up, it takes forever to get appointments with my doc. The emphasis was that “it should not be ignored.” I think the doctor’s office would have called me if they were terribly concerned. I will deal with it when I know. Nothing I can do until I know, other than to pray. My message to you, no matter where you are in your quit or even if you haven’t yet quit, smoking isn’t worth it. There is no warning that is big enough.
I reached my three year anniversary when I was on vacation and had no way to connect with EX, thank everyone for celebrating FOR me. It was January 19th. I thought of all of you, I had planned a blog but didn’t have any way to write one. Let this 1,111 days of freedom be that celebration!