Tell Me I Didn't

Blog Post created by dwwms on Dec 22, 2017

I awoke this morning from a deep sleep to the sound of the alarm clock. Good news is that it was my wife's alarm, I am off work today. Bad news, I was in the midst dreaming about smoking. This is not the first time since I quit, though they seem to have progressed in intensity. Initially, I would wake up dreaming that I had bought cigarettes, but I hadn't smoked any - just bought them (2 packs-per usual) so I'd have them just in case. About a month ago, I dreamed I had smoked, though it was very easy to dismiss it when I woke up.

I suppose because I was in such deep sleep, my mind was foggy and I lay there thinking about how I had bought a pack (not 2-per usual, that would be odd for me) yesterday and had smoked one. I recalled how it tasted and what really surprised me was I didn't feel light-headed or dizzy from smoking, which every time I've relapsed in the past, that first cigarette would definitely do that! H*ll, even when I smoked, a majority of them had that effect on me, particularly first thing in the morning.

Here it is the second day, what do I do? Do I smoke another? Will another one make me dizzy? Do I throw them out? Still half asleep I continue with this dream. I go to work and start to look for a co-worker who I see some days to give him the pack. I couldn't find him - I start thinking about smoking another...

Thankfully, I woke up fully about then and replaying it realized it was a smoke-mare!!

Working through my first smoke-free Christmas in a very, very long time - wishing all of you the very best for this season and for the New Year! May it be a "FREE" year for all of us!!