TWO WEEKS IN THE BAG, feelin’ goooooood. Makes me wonder, why did I ever smoke? I feel no different. I feel better physically obviously, but it didn’t define me. If anything, it held me back from living life. TRULY living life. Life without planning when I can smoke, life fully enjoyed when relaxing and admiring what’s around me. I almost feel like the nicotine free teenager I used to be. I feel more optimistic. I can say yes to adventures since I’m not carrying the anxiety of when and where I will be able to smoke.
It’s funny, it’s been only two weeks, but I feel like it’s been so much longer. Not because I’m counting the minutes without a cigarette and not because I’m miserable. I feel like it’s been longer because it feels natural and right. I think smoking took a piece of who I truly was away from me. It stole my REAL confidence and replaced it with a false addictive confidence. Yes, I still have moments when I think about smoking, but it’s really just a quick thought. Almost an acknowledgement that I smoked for all of my adult life until now and I may always think about it for a moment. It doesn’t make me crave a smoke. I don’t feel antsy or have junkie thinking tendencies. It’s just a quick acknowledgment. That’s it.
Here’s to who I was, and who I have yet to be. Maybe I’ll be different, maybe I will stay the same, maybe, I will just stop having resting bitch face all of the time. WHO KNOWS. THANKS FOR LISTENING.
