desiree465

My True Test

Blog Post created by desiree465 on May 30, 2018

I haven't been on this site as much as usual because over the last couple of weeks I've been dealing with some family issue's. My mother, who is a border line alcoholic, broke her ankle on mother's day after drinking way too much. Me and my sister finally got the courage to talk to her about her drinking and she took it very well. She knew this talk was coming. The problem is now she can't drive, work, or drink and it's wearing on her mentally. She's been staying with me these last two weeks and now she's wearing on me mentally. She doesn't really need to stay with me but I think we are both worried about her being alone and letting her thoughts get to her. She is an extremely negative person, even on her best days. Yesterday when the doctor told her again that she couldn't work until the cast came off she started getting loud with the staff to the point that I had to yell at her to knock it off (she's done this for both appointments). My mom is only 53 but this whole situation has given me such anxiety about when she becomes elderly and I have to take care of her. I am actually losing sleep over this thought. I can't believe that this whole time I haven't given up my quit. I think my resolve has actually strengthened for some reason. Which seems crazy to me because now I live with a smoker who is mentally dragging me down with her. I'm also pissed that she put us in this situation. Which in turn makes me feel terrible that I'm having these thoughts. With that all said I am proud of myself and a little amazed for not turning to cigarettes to cope. Luckily me, my husband, and some friends are going away this weekend and my sister said she would take my mom next week to give me a much needed break. So there is a light at the end of this tunnel and it's not coming from the end of a cigarette. 

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