Outta NML

Blog Post created by desiree465 on May 18, 2018

I have made it through no man's land finally. I know I still have a ways to go before I feel truly comfortable with my quit though. I was reading a blog about life after no mans land. {A side note I have no idea how to make it so that others can see the blog I'm talking about. If anyone can tell me that would be helpful. I thought I just click on the mention tab and type in the  blog title but the blog I read didn't come up. }


Anyway, the blog talks a little about how there are going to still be new situations that you encounter where you would normally be smoking. Changes of season was one of the triggers it mentioned.  I am still a little worried about how the summer is going to go. I am preparing myself as these new situations pop up but I'd be a liar if I said I wasn't still nervous. At first I was very apprehensive to be out on my deck, but I took some advice from the people on here. I changed the deck up as much as I could (it's small). I put the ashtray out of sight so it's out of mind. I only kept it because I have family and friends that still smoke and people are always at my house. I changed the seat I used to sit in while smoking.  I also got myself a container of bubbles. I have to say the little changes I made were enough. Now I sit on my deck in the morning with my coffee like I used to minus the cigarette.  I also have my containers of vicks for the house and on the go. But again I am still nervous.


The other day when my mother was over I caught myself thinking about how good her lit cigarette smelled and I was so disappointed that that was the feeling I had. It just popped right into my head and I had to run through my list of reasons I quit and talk myself down (I also got up immediately and went inside). I didn't want a cigarette, I owe it to myself to see this through, but I hate that I still have those feelings of loss. I guess I thought that maybe I was done with those feelings since I hadn't had one in a long time. Which, I don't know why because everything I read on here tells me that I won't ever really be finished with those feelings. Just that I will be able to manage them better and they will become few and far between. I guess I thought I was special lol. 


I think summer might be harder for me than the winter because we go to a lot of outdoor festivals/concerts ect and being around smokers is unavoidable unless I want to keep myself secluded until winter. Luckily most of the people I'm going with to these events have either quit or never smoked to begin with but I can't control what others do. Any suggestions that don't involve putting myself in a bubble are appreciated and thanks for reading you guys are the best!