darnPainter

Not out of the woods yet

Blog Post created by darnPainter on Dec 3, 2017

So i've pretty much gotten past the morning cravings. Yesterday was the first morning I realized I didn't  think about smoking as the first conscious thought of the day. That time when I'm laying in bed even before I open my eyes. What a gift. The strangle hold of nicotine is finally releasing its tight grip. I have been dreaming about smoking and drinking and know thats my subjective mind threatened and in fear. I experienced the dreaming when I got sober so I know what they are - vivid at times and not real. I have a few cravings through out the day, but they are fleeting and not very powerful. I believe they come at random times when Im not paying attention. They don't rock the boat because I'm familiar with them and know that what to expect. But Im not out of the woods yet. Therefore. I still need to keep practicing daily meditation and on guard as the watcher of my thoughts, because thats where my sickness lives. I respect the disease of addiction and know that the minute I think I'm in control, is when a door opens to the delusional idea that I can handle just one, and get away with it. 

John 18, dof and grateful

Outcomes