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Share your quitting journey

Almost biffed it

beccalynn35
Member
0 13 81

Today was a hard day. I had to clean a house, then train to go to people's houses to walk dogs and give medications, then go to the boarding house where senior/ small dogs stay when their families are on vacation. It was busy and great distraction from smoking, since the new job has no association with smoking. 

I did have a couple strong urges though. They happened at the house I clean. The lady there is a friend of mine who smokes. I often go out and smoke with her. Well I told her I quit again and she said " are you sure you are ready? You are struggling with so much right now!"

Well, I don't remember what I said, bit what she said had a big impact on me all day. 

Everytime a crave hit after that I thought I could beat this one buto I wasn't sure how long I can go on. 

Then I got home. Big crave hit. I ate dinner and some ice cream... another big crave. Then I thought my friend was right, so I ripped off my patch and started to go get some cigs. 

Then I stopped and asked myself "why are you listening to her, yes this is hard sometimes but I will be free if I don't smoke!"

So then I took a shower and taped my patch back on. 

So here I am posting. I'm still craving, so I'm going to read some articles people had suggested on one of my previous blogs. 

Thanks

13 Comments
About the Author
I've been smoking since I was 13, and I am going to be 42 in a few days. I have had 2 quits that lasted 11 months. I have been trying to quit again now for over a month. I would get 4 days smoke free, then smoke for a couple then get 4 more days ect... I'm bipolar, with an anxiety disorder and ptsd. I'm also an alcohlic. I go to a group for dual diagnosis for these, as well as AA meetings. I also see a therapist and a psychiatrist regularly.