autumnpepper

Addiction is addiction

Blog Post created by autumnpepper on Oct 5, 2018

I have tried to quit smoking for more than 15yrs.  I have been able to go for months without a cigarette.  My biggest downfall has always been the social smoking.  I would not buy cigarettes, and would try to be strong around others that smoked.  But we'd get to talking and the next thing I know I'm bumming one from whoever.  I would feel bad about it, I mean cigarettes ain't cheap.  But I would tell myself it's no big deal.  

 

I met my best friend about 3yrs ago.  She's a heavy smoker.  Oh, we would visit and before you know it I'm bumming one, then two, then....I felt so bad about bumming that I started buying a pack and letting her hang in to it for me.  When she came to visit, or vice versa, I wouldn't be bumming her's.  So, guess what happened next.  I know you can guess.  Now I'm buying packs and keeping them.  I'm smoking every single day now.  I wake up thinking about smoking and I'm either thinking about smoking or smoking all day long. I'm shocked at how fast I fell back into a everyday smoking habit.  I know now after all these years that I can't just cut down or only smoke now and then.  I guess I've been in big time denial!  And as I write this, I realize how much I sound like someone who's hopelessly addicted to alcohol or drugs. I don't think I ever really thought this addiction is the same!    Glad I found this site!  I think I have a better chance of quiting for good.  

 

Thank you for reading,

Autumn

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