amiray39

Letters and Smoking Memories

Blog Post created by amiray39 on Mar 11, 2019

Letters to My Co-workers

 

Yesterday, I spent time writing letters to my co-workers and boss about quitting smoking. I am the only one at my job that currently smokes.

 

In my letters I explained to them that I would be quitting, shared how my addiction started and ways I personally wanted each of them to support me.

 

It felt odd to do that but I know it needed to be a part of my plan.

 

A fearful thought: "What if I just gave them letters and then I don't do it... I can't do it".

 

I have accepted that thought as just a thought. Maybe addict thinking? The nicotine trying to keep me trapped? 

 

No way can I let it win! I am going to quit. I have a plan and I am committed to it!

 

Smoking Memory - Something Shared in My Letters

 

I was 3 years old when I went to live with my dad. He would let me light his cigarettes, actually taught me to. Soon, I was able to put one to my mouth and light it for him. The emotional memory attached is this: I was proud to help daddy!

 

Today, I am disgusted! Not with my dad but with his own personal addiction and lack of knowledge.

 

I was 5 years old when I smoked my first cigarette and a full time smoker by 11 years old. Emotional memory: I felt like such an adult.

 

Another Memory - Not Shared with Co-workers

 

When I was 14, I watched my dad die from lung cancer. It scared me but obviously not enough. I was already hooked.

 

I've quit multiple times but I only consider 3 of those times as serious attempts and a real quit. Each time I quit and then went back to smoking, (emotional memory) I felt shame.

 

This will be my fourth serious quit. No more shame! No way I can let addiction win! I am going to quit. I have a plan and I am committed to it!

 

New Memory

 

I am disgusted by nicotine addiction. I have to stay quit! I stay by saying N.O.P.E. to myself everyday! 

 

Not One Puff Ever

No Matter What

Outcomes