I'm a fairly quiet person, so its no surprise to me that I don't have something to blog about each day. I'm introverted and keep mostly to myself. I come here every day and read and make a few comments, but I don't really put myself out there- just like in my real life. Only my close friends, family and coworkers know that I have quit smoking. They are supportive and I am thankful for them.
My kids are what really keeps me going and the main reason that I quit in the first place. But.... (I'm chuckling to myself as I type this) they are also the cause of most of my daily stress. Stress is one of my biggest triggers.
Yesterday was horrible!! Kids screaming, throwing tantrums, throwing shoes at my head as I'm driving in rush hour traffic in pouring down rain. A disaster of a trip to the grocery store. A million other things going wrong even before we can get home and get dinner started. I felt like my head would explode. And honestly, I cried. It's not the first time I have done this. Sometimes the stress of a job, 4 kids, a house, etc all on my own gets to me.
Please don't be confused, I'm not venting or complaining. I'm actually boasting and bragging a tad bit. Why? No, its wasn't my best day and I did have a small melt down. But the one thing I didn't do- Smoke. NOPE, didn't do it. And yes that is great. Anyone who gets through an especially stressful time without caving in to the addiction is doing an awesome job, I know.
The part that I'm most excited about, I barely craved a cigarette at all. I didn't have the feeling that if I just had a puff it would all be better. I just kept going without any of those thoughts. Kind of like I never smoked at all. And even more- my mini melt down wasn't over wanting a cigarette either. I had a stressful evening the same as any other busy mom out there would. Maybe they would have handled it better or worse than I did. Doesn't matter. Smoking wasn't involved in it at all. So strange to think about it now. That makes me very excited. Makes me feel that there is a light at the end of the tunnel. But also anxious about upcoming NML.
Since I don't really put myself out there much and am such an introvert, I wanted to make sure that I share this small success with someone. I choose to share it here with all my fellow Exers! Still going strong at 20 days and really starting to see that it does get better.