ahhshucks

306,600

Blog Post created by ahhshucks on Oct 18, 2017

In my lifetime I estimate that I have smoked 306,600 cigarettes.  Wow, I can't imagine what my lungs look like.

42 years of smoking 1 pack per day.  Started way too young.  Like most of us.

I am currently on day 48 of my quit.  940 cigarettes not smoked.  I am in No Man's Land.  I feel like it too.

Anyone that says quitting is easy, I would beg to differ.  This new normal feels odd, empty, frightening and exciting all at the same time.  I won't lie.  I am struggling, but will continue on.  My friend is gone.  My friend that kept me company when I was stressed, bored, tired, happy, sad, angry, delighted and sick.  My friend would have stuck with me until the day I died.  Literally.  You were a toxic friend really.  I am ready to get you out of my life, but you make it very difficult.  You will however, get kicked to the curb.  You have made me take time away from my family, hobbies and life.  You have tried to give me things though........like coughs, smelly clothes, hair, yellow fingers, COPD, cancer and all the other gifts that come with you.  You have caused my brain to rebel and say "Take Me Back".........PLEASE!

Just like a toxic relationship, I have to let you go.  Even though you try to lure me back......I have to say no!  Hopefully someday you will understand and "LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE".

The picture on the right is what you have done to me!  I will no longer allow you to ravage my breathing.  That is not a friend.  You are my enemy and I am letting you go.

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