I watched 3 dear friends die of smoking caused COPD/Emphysema, using oxygen and still smoking to the very end. I still wonder why this didn't "reach" me and get me to quit sooner. I suppose that in a way my (addicted) brain convinced me that I would either not get the disease or I would stop before it gets me! I was mortified when the pulmonary doc said I had the beginnings of COPD and listed it in my health record! How could that be? I didn't even cough, but I did start to feel shortness of breath. It still took me more than another year to get real with myself and that signal came as hearing myself wheeze - just now and then! Now I feel that I do have a chance to heal and stop the progression. One of my biggest assets in this quit is practicing really deep breathing, especially through craves; it has turned into a positive yardstick for me now. Every time I consciously take a really deep breath, I feel I can measure how much more I can take in and, joy of joys, it doesn't hurt like it sometimes did before I quit. I can see that it is hard work for me and the depth is far from what I want it to be but I am hopeful and determined. When I read yet another member's story, I am humbled, grateful for my "lighter situation" than some, and truly inspired by their bravery, their determination to live the best lives they can with what they've got, from where they are, right now. My hat's off to all of you here! Badges, points, kudos... for Everyone, I love you all for the inspiration you give to me; for your openness and heartfelt sharing, your heartbreaks, your triumphs
My heart is very full today,
Pamela
