I was able to give my pain specialist the news this morning about finally quitting smoking just a few minutes before he inserted needles into my spine. I've never - not once in my life - ever had a doctor who hugged me and lit up like the sun in the sky. Walking away from my pre-op bed, he announced it to the rest of the staff and I was suddenly surrounded by all the familiar faces I've come to know over the last six month. Everyone was giving me hi-5s or trying to hug me. One nurse even had a tear spill down her cheek. I'm not joking!
All of those people have been behind me 100% of the way through everything I've experienced and had to deal with over the last couple years. It not only made my day by being able to share the news that tomorrow is ONE WEEK, but I made other people's day by making them smile.
My husband asked me again this afternoon how everything is going. I honestly told him that I have no desire to smoke, but at the same time, I miss it. I have had no cravings, no murderous thoughts, and whenever a smoke pops in to my head, I just take a few deep breaths and distract myself from the train of thought.
You know that movie Inside Out? I try to imagine all of my emotions (joy, saddness, anger, digust, and fear) looking at the world through my eyes. And when a 'core memory' of smoking pops up (like the first time I ever smoked), Digust starts scoffing and saying how disgusting it is. Fear starts running around listing off the ways smoking can kill me. Anger just gets perturbed by the noise and actually just sits there reading the paper because he's been mellowed out by anti-depressants. Sadness cries over and over about how she misses it, and Joy pops in another light bulb for ideas.
I'm not saying this has been an easy quit. It hasn't been. I do feel the Wellbutrin has contributed immensely, but when it comes down to it, it's my own strength and will power that keeps me from lighting up hour by hour. Day by day.
Since I mentioned yesterday that my husband wanted to buy me something as a reward for making it 6 days without smoking, I want to share that we went shopping this evening. He bought me a brand-new Charge 2 FitBit. I had had my previous since 2011 and was way past due for an upgrade. I've got it on charge as I type and can't wait to start putting it to use!
I hope all of you have had a terrific Tuesday. Since my official one week anniversary is only ONE HOUR AND 16 MINUTES AWAY....
And if you are struggling yourself or having a bad day, remember: