New to this forum and not normally one to join blogs, forums etc... I've smoke 14 years give or take and quit once before for 3 years when I met my ex-fiance. She's long in the past and that's for the better except I started smoking again. Now I'm on day 4 using the patch and I don't recall it being this miserable. I already deal with good old bipolar issue an am in a funk but jesus this has tanked me and now am numb, angry for no reason etc. Beyond my normal lows. (No I'm not suicidal or anything bad). I expect the tight chest, irritability, cough, depression, so on. But the depth of it is rough, also as a 32 year old in shape guy the weird sensation of being too warm when relaxing is a new odd one I havent experienced. I work a very physically demanding job as a millwright and welder so I get a free workout daily which helps a bit and distracts me to a degree. It's the night like now when it gets really bad. I have no support and live alone except one friend and I have a pretty hard family so I dont expect much from them plus we live far apart. I see a shrink for my aforementioned reason of being bipolar which helps. It's the lack of energy and motivation to do any that are killing me. If I smoked 2 or 3 in a 10-20 minute span it was almost like a manic episode without the negatives of true mania. I'd like to get there again, I know it'll come with time but does anyone have tips or tricks to get to help out? I already get the work out through my job (have to eat 5500 calories a day to maintain my weight to put the job in perspective) sooo yea have that covered. Any other advice is welcomed with an open mind. I have no intention of starting up again since it gave me ulcers I recently found out. Well guess my rant is over, I wish everyone in the process best of luck I did once before I know all of you can and for those already past the miserable part congrats.