So I am back again

Blog Post created by Wanda45 on Mar 9, 2017

Yes I quit for two weeks, and then I just decided I really didn't want too.  Can't tell you why, in my heart I just knew it wasn't right for me then.  Tonight I am blogging from a hospital bed.  Sunday I felt like crap.  Not anything in particular.  Arthritis hurt, felt yukky.  Sometime Sunday afternoon I started having flutters in my chest.  I would get nauseous, then warm waves and dizzy.  The damnedest feeling ever.  It happened 7 or so times.  A couple times after I went to bed.  Monday morning I had a couple of these strange spells.  One as my daughter was leaving for work.  She stopped asked if I was okay and I said I don't' know.  I told her what was happening.  She took me to the emergency room.  When I got there my blood pressure was 216 / 114.  Oh yea, buddy, the ER folks kicked into high gear.  


After doing a blood test something indicated that I had a blood clot in my lungs.  So they do a cat scan.  No blood clot but an aortic aneurysm.  And so I was admitted.


After two CT scans, and Echo cardiogram, and a chemical stress test I can tell you I am healthy - except that I now have high blood pressure (under control with meds) and an aneurysm.  The problem with the aneurysm is that it sits on top of the veins that go to the stomach, liver and pancreas,  The hospital here is not equipped to repair this.  There are not enough cases like this to warrant special labs to build stents that would curve enough not to nick one of those veins.  


Tomorrow the doctors are going to get an appointment at Baylor in Dallas for me to go get this repaired.  It will be repaired, and I will be okay.


I have had to go cold turkey since Monday at 7:00 AM.  Do I want one... most of the time, it gets easier every day.  Will I stay quit when they cut me loose, I hope so.  At this point, I can't promise myself that I won't light up when I walk out.


I know all the reasons to.  More than anything reflecting on this week, I am almost 68, have smoked since I was 17, and have no issues.  Just now developed high blood pressure.  Did smoking cause this?  Don't know.   


I want to think that I will just put them down now, but I know  how hard that is  I am not making excuses, just stating a fact.  Stressful situations "seem" to be better, heartache seems to be better, life sometimes seems to be better with just one puff.... but just one puff leads to another and another.   I know all the right answers, mostly because of the great people on this site, who have encouraged me and held my hand.  I didn't come to whine, just to own up and let you all know what is happening in my life.  


I will update you on the surgery, and my status.  Here is to another no puff day.