Just keep breathing.
Yesterday was pretty good with the nausea feeling but it is back today. Still struggling but vaping is not an option.
I like having something that is my own, that I can hide, that I can sneak, that I can control I guess. But this is an addiction and I can not control it. I have to let go, admit defeat and try a different way. I believe I have a Higher Power, and that power is there to support me and give me strength, it is because of this power that I quit in the first place.
So I will keep walking forward, and it will get better and I will live an honest life, this is the last thing that I was hiding from loved ones. All my life I have had something that I hid and it is a little uncomfortable not having something to hide. I prayed and asked my HP (God) to remove my desire to be sneaky to take away the desire to control and to help me.
Still chewing on straws and breathing through them, drinking water, chewing gum. I guess I am grieving today, whatever it is I am going to keep on keepin on.