I finally picked a date, which will be December 1, 2018. I manage to cut down from 2 packs down to a less of a pack a day. Even though I have quit smoking back in 2012 after 6 years of smoking, I fear this time is going to be a lot more difficult due to my situation.
First I need to back up a bit. I quit smoking back in 2012 and it was quite easy for me to quit cause I just decided to quit and kept busy with work and let time do its' thing. But back in August 2017, I got injured in which I became disabled due to chronic pain. I began smoking again about 2 weeks from the accident. I started smoking to distract myself from stress and chronic pain. As time went on going to various doctors, alternative healers, herbal remedies and etc, I began to smoke more and more until I reached two packs a day. Back in August, I manage to cut slowly from two packs to now less than a pack a day and I am doing okay. But my concern is giving it up completely. Since I am homebound temporarily (because it hurts to move and I don't like to take the prescription pain medication) until I manage to quit smoking there are medical interventions that could possibly help me.
I live with family members who also smoke and I want to quit smoking but there are times I think I am trying to win a losing battle. However, I have been seeing a therapist to work on issues such as my chronic pain, my mental health as well as my goals. I can sometimes see my way out of being a slave to an inanimate object that is killing me slowly, and I can actually see a life of freedom. So I am dedicated to go from just about 15 or so cigarettes to about 4 by November 25th so I can proudly give myself freedom on December 1st.
Whenever cravings or triggers comes up you need to always ask yourself what the feeling I am reaching for, and then you need sit and meditate on whatever you need to feel. I am not seeking out pity, but I am writing this for my future self when things gets hard and you wonder why you are torturing yourself for. Freedom is why, Ursula.
