Tyl3rdurd3n

Early Morning Craving - Day 9

Blog Post created by Tyl3rdurd3n on Apr 13, 2020

Its 6:16 am here. My place is a small one bhk (bedroom hall kitchen). In my room, there is a small window right beside my head which I usually keep open at night. Since its early April, the weather is hot during the day, but the nights are still cold and the early mornings are beautiful and pleasant.
When I wake up in the morning, my first instinct is to look out the window and experience the morning rays of sunshine and its soft yellowish-orange colour. I hear the beautiful morning sounds, birds chirping, and random people downstairs involved in morning chores and talking. I feel the chill in the air and the freshness of it. I wake up without any stress or thoughts or worries. The morning is so perfect, its so fantastic. It's the ideal way to start my day.
But today, when I wake up, I feel dryness in my throat. I feel the same dryness in my mouth. And I feel the same dryness in my stomach. Maybe I am hungry, but I didn't use to be hungry so early in the morning or feel this way before. I ignore it, get out of bed and take a few sips of water. That makes things a little better.
I panic a bit now as I am not sure what to do next. I used to play some instrumental music on Youtube and let it run in the background for an hour while I got involved in my daily chores and morning routines. I used to boil some water, add lemon and honey and sip on it while sitting in the balcony. I used to sit and think for a few minutes and plan my day ahead. I used to take a cigarette, lit it and smoke my first smoke of the day.
I can't do that today. And that makes me sad. The sadness of not smoking my first cigarette stops me from enjoying the lemon Honey lukewarm water. It stops me from sitting in the balcony. It stops me from playing the morning instrumentals and getting on with my daily chores. It stops me from planning my day ahead. It stops me from wanting to get out of bed. It stops me from enjoying the beautiful morning it is. It stops me from starting my day.
That's when I crave for my first cigarette of the day!
But I am an optimist. So I know I am going to enjoy my mornings again, one day. But this time it would be without smoking that first cigarette of the day.

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