Well I did it! I made it to 100 days! And I am SO happy to also say that I am one week off the patch!
I am trying to feel good and excited about all of this but in reality, it’s hard. I’ve struggled with this the whole time. I do love that I am not smoking anymore, but I still miss it sometimes. Not the smelly part or even the physical act of it, but mainly the way it bonded my husband and me, and our friends. It was how we relaxed and talked, how we had fun with drinking games or listening to music. Now I feel bored every night.
I realize yes, I’m so codependent. And the last blog I talked about how my husband quit but I had a hard time being supportive because I didn’t know if it would last. Well, it didn’t last and he started up again. But instead of picking fights or nagging I just let it be. You all were right—he’s on his own journey that has nothing to do with mine. But I am still jealous in a way of his smoking. I do sometimes think about joining him, though I don’t do it. I am definitely still adjusting to life without smoking!
It also hasn’t helped that I’ve been sick nearly nonstop since I quit. I have had three sinus infections and horrible stomach pains, on top of the anxiety and depression. And I still feel withdrawal pangs every day. So it certainly hasn’t been easy on me these past 100 days. But I keep going. I know that smoking won’t make any of these things better.