Yup it's been 41 days of being smoke free! How have I done this? I ask myself when I get reminded of writing on this site (a text is sent daily). Not sure other than being ready to quit. I was having chest, sinus and throat pain when I was smoking. I also had a low radiation cat scan which showed an artery that's starting to get clogged. This is all so scary to think about. No wonder I had to do something since I was feeling so bad. I had smoked for about 49 years. I even mastered taking certain meds that masked the pain I was having. Such as anti-inflammatories or pain meds. I had done this for a couple of years and knew that I was damaging something in my body. Even my doctors would say you don't smoke that much. I was smoking around 5 to 10 cigs a day. Why didn't my doctors say you don't smoke much just quit. I have had a very stressful life. With determination I fearlessly brought up my children without their father. I was six months pregnant when my husband was in a fatal car accident and died. Then eleven years ago I was in a horrible accident. I relearned how to walk, use my hands and arms again through years of therapy. I live in pain every day. That cigarette really helped me cope all of these years, so I thought. Now I am disabled and learned that most people in my neighborhood get on my case about smoking. They tell me horrible stories about people who have died from cancer and that I don't love myself. Geezers if they only knew how difficult it is to quit! I had gotten so good a quitting that I would reward myself after twenty-four hours. Eat myself into an oblivion. Then smoke again. When I first learned about this site all I did was read. I read everything on here once, twice and then again. It has been very helpful for me to learn about it all. Knowledge is power! A few things keep going through my mind that I've read on this site and they are cigarettes are as adicting as crack, cigarettes don't make things better and the other is NOPE (Not One Puff Ever). Also, being with people who don't smoke is quite helpful. When I'm around smokers I just say no thanks I think I'm allergic to it now. Usually their reaction is oh ok. Then I tell them about becomeanex.org and how much it has helped me. I tell them to look for me on the site, #Trust.