I cannot believe it's been a whole month since I had myself a smoking marathon in my backyard!! Here's what I noticed so far:
-I have good days and bad days, just like when I was a smoker, because that's life. Dropping the nicotine didn't change any of that. It changed how I handle it.
-I am completely capable of handling my worst days without smoking. I survived my busy schedule, my husband's pneumonia, a visit with my exhausting mother, bored moments, sad moments, lonely moments, overwhelmed moments... mostly because I HANDLED my **** vs. the smoking I used to do to BURY my ****.
-My relationships are better for it. I found when I clearly and calmly communicate my needs/wants, I get along better with everyone. I found that keeping it SIMPLE is key. I had to stop the spiraling negative thoughts- especially ones that include the word ALWAYS. When I drop the drama and just focus on how I'm feeling RIGHT NOW, I can usually identify ONE thing I can do/say to keep it moving and not linger in my hurt, disappointment, or discontent.
-Also, my fuse is longer. I used to just "snap" when I couldn't deal-- and then go smoke to "get over it". That doesn't seem to happen at all anymore. I've tapped into a reservoir of patience I didn't know I had.
-I AM already faster, stronger and have way more endurance physically!! My first Tri this summer is July 20 and I've dramatically improved my swim. That's the part of the race I struggle with every year. NOT this time!!!
-I have MORE time than ever to do things I WANT to do.
-Our family has more money!! We were seriously living paycheck to paycheck. I can see now how quickly we can change that if we continue on this path. I won't NEED to work my "extra" jobs in fitness to keep us afloat. I can teach classes and take clients because I WANT to. (Pay is bonus!!)
-Zuul (my Nicodemon) is not in control anymore. I am. I am not fool enough to think he's gone. I keep picturing him like a cholicky infant. I settled him down and have no interest in waking him and spending any more hours feeding and pacing and bouncing with him just to momentarily appease him.
WOO HOO for 30 days!!!!!