I'm really nervous about work today, with instacart and doordash. I'm always in my car, where I used to smoke. People don't really think it's a stressful job but it can be. I'm realizing that now as a non smoker I'm going to have to push myself just to go to work. When I was smoking I didn't really think about it. I wanted to work.
I had an order on saturday that was 200 things. I had to bag them all, aldi's, and drive them to her house. Unloading wasn't much fun, putting them on her porch, thank you so much lady for not so much helping me with that! I mean that also includes like 3 12 packs of soda, 2 gallons of tea, 2 24 packs of huge heavy water! Most orders I don't mind but I doubt I'll be taking a huge heavy order like that again without a 30 dollar tip 
Getting a lot of cravings, I'll admit. Cravings and urges and not at all happy! I know I know it's about my attitude well my attitude is I really don't want to go to work and I want to tell everyone to F OFF! And I doubt faking a smile and go woohoo is gonna make me feel any better. Guess what it won't! So please do not play the happy unicorn stuff! It won't work and will probably make me want to punch you in the face. I know some people on here that's so happy aren't as really as happy as they claim so it makes me feel better
Sleeping, I went to sleep I think 9ish or 10is??? Woke up 5am
The only real thing that's keeping me going is well I'm not sure well the knowledge that nicotine does cause premature aging that's 1. The next thing money definitely money. My cigs are pretty cheap here at about 4.50 a pack but it does add up and I don't like to be broke and say which is more important gas or cigs? Try to scramble to buy both. After that I'm not sure at the moment. I don't have a huge 100 list and I don't think many does unless you've done it for 10 years.
