“Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.” ~Victor Frankl
Quititude means an attitude of Success. It comes from searching for and riding the waves of accomplishment, noticing incremental successes such as making it through this craving (3-5 minutes) and mentally acknowledging and congratulating myself for having done this.
It also includes letting the waves of triggering events, people and places wash over us without hooking into or getting swept up in the response that feels so compelling.
So how do we make this happen? It all sounds appealing but easier said than done. Or is it?
Perhaps if we knew a different approach than the same old, same old we could learn and practice a new way of first, recognizing and then initiating and practicing and finally to adopting it. What does it hurt to try, anyway?
Take a moment right now to practice:
1. Play the Freeze Game
You remember that game we played as children? Do that now. Halt your body, thoughts and emotions. Think of yourself as a cartoon character that’s been hit with a stun gun or place yourself in a Star Trek episode.
2. Focus on your left index finger.
For twenty to sixty seconds, concentrate exclusively on the back of your index finger. Let all of your attention be consumed by it.
Bring it closer to you. Study the rivets, creases, and those tiny little fingerprint lines. Pretend that you've never seen this finger before and get to know it's every detail. Let all else fade out of focus.
3. Take a conscious breath.
Let go of your glance and check back in with your body. Take a deep, conscious breath in, then let it go through your mouth, slowly and calmly, creating a wave of relaxation that starts in your chest and floats out through your being to the surface of your skin. I imagine a blue light that is born from my heart and radiates throughout each cell of my body.
4. Look around consciously.
As you refocus on your surroundings, scan the scene in front of you. Remain as nonjudgmental as possible with what you focus on the way you would when waking up in the morning.
Take conscious note of the thoughts that are trying to push back into your head and observe them with an attitude of curiosity.
How do you feel?
You might now feel a little more in touch with your senses, distanced from previous thoughts, and connected with the present moment.
Most importantly, you’ll recognize that the root of your discomfort is your thoughts. Everything else, like emotions, and physical discomfort, and pain, start there.
Spend another minute focused on the same finger, in the same way. Doing this will associate (or anchor) the feelings of clarity, relaxation, and attachment with the action of focusing on your calm presence and open the gap between stimulus and response so you have the space to decide what you choose to do instead of being dragged into action by those compelling thoughts.
We have the power to reset our attitude at any time - not just from day to day but minute to minute. We decide who we wish to be.
I wish to be a Happy Quitter!