Day Five

Blog Post created by TessaGrace on Feb 20, 2018

Ok - this may or may not be a real dilemma; Allen Carr's method is all about just being immediately a non smoker, not loosing anything, this mindset helped me - simple and with it foremost on my mind I wasn't reaching for extra sweets - but DOES IT CLASH ? > am I indulging to allow sweets with the excuse "I'm not smoking" -should I be taking those moments to fully face the crave without feeding it anything? (yes, if possible) Is it good to allow myself hours online looking at posts about smoking/ not smoking, or is this just another procrastination from facing my life, like smoking was? (It's self expression that seems important now, and I've been lonely so this is supportive & helping). I guess Allen himself got to talk to smokers about smoking for the rest of his days and it did him/us good. 


I want to retain this mindset though - that I'm not giving anything valuable up by stopping, and talk back to craves with this powerful knowledge, always remembering it's an illusion that cigs/sweets help anything - except sweets do help with energy occasionally.  


So many approaches to not smoking.


I will just stay alive to knowing where my boundaries are/ may be; what is genuinely helpful (thanks, your encouragement has really felt great) and what is indulgent for me. 


Few craves today, managed to eat a good breakfast and hit the outdoor gym for a bit which is my happy place then the Library and then watched lots of Youtube this evening, tobacco budget going on data!  


Someone here said there are now lots of times when we CAN do something else, where we used to HAVE to smoke... I'm in a place in life (you may be too) where I feel straining arg the leash to get somewhere and I don't quite know how to get there, I want to contribute and I'm angry with myself for still feeling lost - smokings just another thing I can control right now, not smoking and not drinking are the stepping stones and I really want them to stay, so I can build from a more certain, less undermined place. Feels like if I smoke again, or revert to the same regular casual drunken nights I will be doing a disservice to this early notion of some focus. It's late enough already! 


Love to myself. Balance of Tenderness and Clear loving appraisal of faults. 


Love to the Readers.