Another day ending smoke free

Blog Post created by Tabbiekat on Nov 16, 2017

Day 16 quit. Would have been celebrating 1 month quit since it was around this time on 10/16 that I had what I thought was going to be my last. I let the triggers and craving take hold for 5 hrs during a drive and while still kicking myself for it, I am no longer fighting the anger/depression that I had at myself for it over the last couple of weeks.  I quit taking Chantix a few days ago. I realized I forgot to take my am dose, so by that night I decided not to take my evening dose and have been doing really well without until yesterday.

I can go outside, sit and talk with my husband while he smokes. I can be around my roommate when he smokes. I handled the hr drive to lunch and then my husbands doctors yesterday. On the drive home, by his second one I was thinking "I wish I still smoked" NOPE. I just picked up the pen and fidgeted with it while he smoked. The rest of the day was fine. Today another hr drive to see his other doctor. No problem going, but coming home I was seriously trying to convince myself to have just one, ...NOPE not going to happen.  During my first two weeks of quit in late October I didn't have the urges that I did today, but I am also not on Chantix. A few more doctors visits through next month, a day of getting him in early for a cataract surgery and the follow up later that day. Then in January he will be trying the cardiac ablation again-two nights in a town 2 1/2 hrs away (that drive home an unscheduled 25 hrs early is where I slipped), plus March will be another trip for me to see my neurologist that is 3 1/2 hrs away.  I am prepared to start the Chantix again if the urges continue. I will not smoke again, but I will start Chantix again.


Some days seem easy and go by without much thought of smoking even being around smokers. Some days like today it was hard, but I keep telling myself NOPE (not one puff ever) and if I have the same urges over the next couple of weeks when the travel to the doctors is repeated I know I will get back on Chantix until the bigger trips are over.