And I was doing so good....

Blog Post created by Tabbiekat on Oct 28, 2017

A huge trigger hit just minutes ago. An hour ago after having gone shopping and packed my bags for a two night stay near the hospital my husband is going to on Monday I sat down at my computer and was proud that even with emotional memories I had been doing pretty good this last week. My mom passed 2 years ago on the 24th and what would have been her 72nd birthday is today. My sister texted me asking if I could see about getting both mom's and dad's Facebook accounts deleted. My dad also passed this last May. With the "its her birthday" notification a lot of the friends are sending condolences and well wishes to us kids and we already agreed to get the accounts removed, but it is task I will take on. Being in another state, having no quick access to the computer or recovery e-mails I did some research and figured out how to get Facebook to delete their accounts and asked my sister to get me the information needed.


If you have not already please leave a list of your passwords to all of your accounts to a trusted friend or loved one or in a safe place that they are aware of and let them know your wishes regarding social accounts, it will make their life after your passing so much easier.


After that text though I got/am teary eyed as the memories flash back. I also had a huge urge to go outside and smoke as I would have normally done in this circumstance. I am proud to say I knew this was coming and was able to fight the urge and distract myself. I did get up and go get a breath mint and then I came here and started writing. My initial quit date was set for the 30th of this month, I quit on the 17th without giving this trigger week much thought, but being a new EX as the days grew closer I set a plan for moments like this. I knew when the trigger hit, I needed to stop and take a breath and distract myself. I did just that and as I said before I am proud of myself doing so.


I know I was an emotional smoker and I can list an emotion I have associated for almost every day of the year. The daily emotions will always be their, but I am working to find ways to live my life as a non smoker so hopefully while I know this week will repeat itself next year I hope to see it as a time of remembrance vs a time where I am fighting the smoking trigger, but even if I do feel the smoking triggers I know I can and will fight the urge to smoke and just do something else.