So it's the morning of day 11. After my dog destroyed the laundry room I got him a large kennel so he can hide during thunderstorms and that seemed to keep him calm. But I have only had it a few days and he hasn't made it a habit yet to go there during storms. There must have been one while I was sleeping because I woke up this morning to a Hole in the back of my desk because he ripped through the plastic I put up in the hole in the wall and started chewing through my desk from the laundry room side.....
Now I was already having a tough time of it this morning. First thing I wanted a cigarette really badly. So I took my nicotine spray. Went to the kitchen to get coffee, arguing with my addiction and reminding myself why I didn't want to smoke. Got coffee, put on the patch, sat down and wondered why my computer wasn't coming on. Then saw the hole and that he had pulled cords out of the back of my computer as well.
The nicodemon was saying F' it just do it, you will feel better. Though I know I would feel better it would only be temporary and I would be back at step 1. I ran through all the reasons I want to quit and why I shouldn't start again and it didn't seem to matter that nicodemon was insisting. I ordered a "Thundershirt" for Dakota and then came here.
Though venting like this seems to have helped. I am not arguing with myself so much anymore. Another battle won. *Deep sigh of relief*
Thank you for listening. I hope the day gets easier.