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STUCK IN THE "MIDDLE" OF NML

SuzyQ411
Member
1 38 289

am on the 116th day of my quit, having come back from an approximate 2 week relapse around the 2019-2020 winter holidays. ( I am truly happy about this accomplishment.)

Other than "smoking my brains out" during that two week relapse, I believe I used that "off-time" wisely. I was referred to and read Alan Carr's book. I also explored "the best of the ex" posts, did more research on addiction, relapse, and recovery, and read member profiles regarding their quit stories.

Additionally, I reviewed my relapse and identified why it occurred. I used that insight to tighten up my quit plan by adding additional safeguards to protect against another relapse. The major new component was putting up my cherished wooden cross as collateral: In other words, if I smoke again, I lose that cross.

I have remained totally compliant with my pledge to not take even one puff, no matter what. But my quit is gradually becoming more difficult for me.

I've had to make what I feel is a major change to my quit plan. And I fear it has adversely affected my quit. For over a month, I'm wearing my patch only during the daytime. If I wear it for a continuous 24 hours per day, I experience extreme dizziness upon awakening.  (Dizziness is a listed possible side-effect of the patches.) So, I'm not receiving the continuous dosage of nicotine replacement that I had been. (BTW, I'm still on Step Two- 14 mg., per choice).

Also, I do have nicotine gum and mints as back-up but try to fend off their use by first chewing a stick of clove gum which often works. This practice also adds to my current reduction in nicotine replacement dosage.

I sense that the main stumbling block is my reduced use of nrt's. And this has me conflicted. After all, my end goal is to discontinue all nicotine use.

And, I'm worried. If I can't tolerate even minor cutbacks in nicotine how am I ever going to become totally free of this drug? 

And to top all of that off, I "should" be nearing the outer edge of No Man's Land at this point. But somehow it truly doesn't feel that way~

I look forward to your responses and suggestions and truly appreciate your input.

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About the Author
Prior to my first quitting on 8/25/2019, I was a heavy smoker for over 60 years. That time, I quit due to health concerns regarding clogged arteries to my brain. Tar deposits from cigarettes were making the situation worse. I had become a prime candidate for a stroke and required surgery to clean out my left carotid artery. I have relapsed 4X since that quit, the last one being on 05.15.2022. ( At one point in all of this madness, I had been quit for 1.5 years). Then on 9/7/2021 I began my recent eight month quit before my current relapse. I am in the process of planning a return to the non-smoking life. After more than 2 weeks of smoking, wheezing and coughing and being short of breath, I have set my new quit date of June 1, 2022 as the beginning of my forever quit. I am done with this madness!! God is good.