Checking In

[SoosannahK]

Just checking in. I am a big ball of nerves right now. My assessment is tomorrow. I am hip deep in protocols, procedures, policies, etc. I hate any kind of assessment center. You'd think after 15 years they would be old hat to me, but nope still hate them, always will. Scenarios and written test are the basis for everything it seems, employment, certifications, re-certifications, etc.  From the day you step into a paramedic class until you retire, you are guaranteed to do at least 2-3 scenarios every 2 years if not more for some kind of re-certification. So they really should be a common thing to me. But I am sitting here about to throw up.

The thing about these scenarios is they are made to trip you up or make you think, which ever way you want to look at it. You can do everything right and your "patient" still dies leaving you second guessing yourself. Scenarios are a way to see how a paramedic "thinks on their feet" and I understand that but it doesn't compare to treating in the streets in my personal opinion. For years I was on the hiring committee at my old service and I tortured these possible new hires with scenarios that make you want to cry. So I know what lies ahead for me and I don't like it. 

I have been reviewing protocols and procedures, those obscure drug dosages for drugs and procedures you use once or twice in a lifetime, common drug dosages were hammered into my head years ago in paramedic school and I will probably be reciting those on my death bed. At least I found my business causal clothes to wear and my pants fit, barely. Still can't find  my belt. My greatest fear however is oversleeping in the morning. 

On other fronts, work still makes me want to smoke. I don't. I just want a new job so I can get out of there. 

On the food front, I am not worrying about food this week. My stomach is a horrible mess from nerves, so I am either not eating or eating everything. I am going to switch my weigh in day to Fridays and get back on track Friday after all this job assessment center stuff is over. 

So today I think I am going to go back over the most commonly used protocols used in scenarios. The good thing about doing so many scenarios is you learn quickly which ones they typically use. Good heavens I know this crap, I am already second guessing myself.  Then I am going to pamper myself with a nice warm bubble bath and a nice hair mask to try and tame my hair a little so I can wrestle it into a neat, professional looking bun tomorrow. Then take out for supper since I am still in what the heck mode with food. Get to bed early, up early and get this assessment center done while trying to keep my nerves at bay. Somewhat. And hopefully it won't take 3 weeks to hear from then again. 

So that is me in a nutshell this week. 

Hope everyone is having a great smoke-free week,

Susan