Support or Not to Support...That is the Question

Blog Post created by Sonia2019 on Jan 22, 2020

Happy Smoke Free Day Everyone


I'm in a quandary about a rather controversial topic: Tobacco vs. Marijuana. Allow me be perfectly clear from the get go, this has nothing to do with the legalities surrounding it, nor am I trying to promote it or pass judgement on those who use it. I'm not one to tell anyone how they should live their life. My dilemma surrounds 'support' and what it means.


If you look it up, there are quite a few definitions out there, mostly all of them define it as "bearing all or part of the weight; hold up". Cambridge Dictionary lists one of their definitions as "to give encouragement and approval to someone or something because you want the person or thing to succeed". Regardless of one's idea of what support means to them by definition, any support you can get is important when trying to break an addiction, whether it be from smoking, food, drugs, alcohol, etc.


As an example; for dieters, it can be frustrating when a friend or family member says they are there to support you, but then turn around and sabotage you by offering you cookies only to tell you to "live a little, it won't hurt to have just one".   It's situations like that that may cause you to distance yourself from them for a while until you've built up enough willpower to decline said treats. However, once you distance yourself from them, they then become upset with you because they felt that they were still being supportive. After all, they shouldn't have to deprive themselves of those cookies just because you are dieting, right? Was that person really being supportive? If so, how? On the flip side, are you the one that was wrong for expecting more support from them than they were capable of giving?


As for my dilemma...I have a friend who also decided to quit smoking at the same time as me. Not only because she said she wanted/needed to, but she said she also wanted to support me. Although the thought of having the extra support was awesome, I told her not to quit for me but to quit for herself when she is ready to, otherwise, she wouldn't be successful with her own quit. Well, she quit anyways, which is great, right? The problem is that she started smoking marijuana instead. In her words, when she smokes it, "it eliminates her urge to smoke cigarettes". I'm sorry, but how is this being supportive? I feel like she is not only sabotaging my quit efforts but also hers by continuing to "smoke". She doesn't see it that way. I've gone round and round with her explaining how smoking is smoking, regardless of what's being inhaled. Her response is that she doesn't see it that way because nicotine is addictive and she only smokes marijuana "occasionally" (newsflash, I didn't know that "occasionally" meant "everyday" or "several times a week", did you? ). It doesn't matter how many times I've explained to her that it's the same thing because she is still getting the same sensation in her lungs by having something to inhale, by way of SMOKING!   How is this any different than vaping? In my opinion, it's all the same. I feel like I'm beating that proverbial dead horse! Anyways, the bottom line is the support and kudos she is getting from everyone else, except me. Of course, I think it's great that she quit smoking cigarettes, but does it make me a bad friend if I don't support her quit just because she chose an alternative way to do it? Or do I suck it up (pardon the pun) and still support her "quit"? Hence, my aforementioned quandary.