~~Faith includes noticing the mess, the emptiness and discomfort, and letting it be there until some light returns.~~ Anne Lamott
Quitting can be quite messy. And uncomfortable. And dark. We squirm away from the dark, uncomfortable ickness and battle the mess in the hope of stepping back into the light.
But battling is hard. Struggling is hard. Trying to bring light to a place that's supposed to be dark is hard. So maybe we should learn to let it be. Set down your battle armor and allow your quit to be messy. Allow your emotions to be all over the place. Allow the emptiness and the discomfort to just be there.
Because once you stop struggling, your quit forms. In the mess, something beautiful emerges. But not until it's ready. A quit takes time. It starts out this little wish and grows into something indescribably breathtaking. Things stir in the mess, you see. A lovely scent....a precious moment....a delightful sight....a calming sense of peace. They piece themselves together from events, situations, realizations, awareness in your life. So allow the mess and just be. Notice those moments when the mess clears just enough for a glimpse of something lovely. That's your quit gathering momentum. That's your quit building strength. You don't have to force it....it will happen.
We may have moments in our quits where we fight quite hard. But if we remember to just let that mess be, we give our quits a chance to form, gather strength, and just grow at it's own time. Our quits will find the light without us forcing anything.
So allow your mess to just be. And have faith that it will not stay a mess but grow into a quit you are proud of.