34 Days of Freedom

Blog Post created by ShyButterfly95 on Oct 6, 2017

I haven't updated my blog in a long while. Things have been a little hectic... or rather, I make things seem bigger than they actually are (mountain out of a molehill, anyone?). The truth is, I just haven't had much motivation to jump on EX and talk to everyone. I've been avoiding most people for most of my time. But a month has come and gone and I want to make sure that I stay quit... hopefully for life. 


I conveniently started bupropion XL to treat my depression around the time I quit nicotine. I also used nicotine lozenges that I got for free over the 1-800-QUIT-NOW line. I only needed about 1-3 per day, and then I ended up not needing them anymore after about 2 weeks. Things have been going great now! I still get cravings, but the idea of inhaling smoke or vapor into my lungs just grosses me out. 


I'm still having some issues though. I still need to figure out how to spend my time productively without smoking or vaping all day until I get a job or go to school or something. I really want to get into sewing and baking. My depression has been super awful lately though. I blame the changing of the seasons, so I broke out my light box and I'm actually using it right now.


I have been diagnosed with persistent depressive disorder instead of major depressive disorder now, which means that instead of having severe depressive episodes, I have a constant milder depression. It's sucky. I have no energy. I have no motivation. But... I am starting to feel a little better. Or at least, I've had a good few days now. I just wish I could stop sleeping so much.


Anyways! I'm excited for the holidays including Halloween, but... Pre-Christmas, you guys!!