Today's the Day

Blog Post created by Senorstrike on Dec 1, 2020

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I have been smoking since I was 19yrs old. (Wow, that was hard to admit)I have "quit" many times in my life but it never stuck. I think the longest I stayed free was a year and a half. I have no excuse for my behavior/choices.

I am your text book closet smoker. I have never admitted to smoking amongst friends or family. Although, many of them either know I still smoke or assume I quit. . As soon as I get off of work, I drive the long way home so I can smoke at least two cigarettes before I pull into the driveway.

I decided I would quit smoking about 6 months ago. I would set a quit date then change it over and over again. Three weeks ago, I realized I needed help. I have used Chantix in the past and was successful so I made an appointment to see the doctor. I started taking the pills last week and I ran out of cigarettes last night. I decided not to purchase another pack before I came into work. As I am typing this, I am thinking of reasons why I should just stop at the store on the way home. I know I should be thinking of reasons why I SHOULD NOT stop. Unfortunately, that is why this is such a strong addiction.

I have no hobbies, work two jobs, stressful family life. I found this page last year when I set a quit date. I thought I would give it another shot because last time I never made any posts or real connections. This time, I am going to make this work- no matter what. I deserve to be healthy and happy. NO matter how irritated, agitated, or frustrated I may be Nothing and No one will make me take that first puff.

I read the daily Pledge on this site and I promise, I quit today. Its my first day, I can, I will.

Outcomes

20 Comments

Cousin-Itt Dec 1, 2020 7:36 PM
Hello Leslie and welcome.
You already know smoking does nothing for stress. I found walking, listening to music music and deep breathing helped I also carried a bag of dumdum in the car and frozen grapes at the house. The main thing is stay busy and change your routine Try taking a different way to or from work Find a hobby for at home. Find what works for you

We all have the strength inside of us to accomplish awesome things. Sometimes we just need help and reminded of how strong we really are. Ask, Listen, Learn, Give back You can do this

Carl
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Dancingthrulife_6.4.13 Dec 1, 2020 8:36 PM
You do indeed deserve to be happy and healthy!! Good for you!! Welcome to the neighborhood!! So very glad you're here
Lots of people here will offer readings, advice, suggestions, and just support so enjoy exploring the site and getting to know people!!

Sheri
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indingrl.01.06.2011 Dec 1, 2020 8:41 PM
Cool - CONGRATULATIONS day ONE - I am so glad for you Leslie - Yahoooooo - WAY TO GO
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Trisha76 Dec 1, 2020 9:00 PM
Welcome Leslie,

My stress was caused by smoking. Always trying to figure out where and when I could smoke, if I had cigarettes and a lighter and how much time I had to smoke. I also was stressed by the fact that I didn’t know how long I could be in an event before I would want a cigarette and then I need to wear a patch if that was over four hours.

Welcome to the site and you’ll learn lots as there will be people coming in on your post that will guide you to places to read on how this works.
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- Senorstrike @ Trisha76 on Dec 2, 2020 9:40 AM
  Thank you Trisha.
  I know I will be successful this time. I appreciate the support
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Barbscloud Dec 2, 2020 9:28 AM
Welcome to the Ex Leslie and congrats on your first day smoke free. If you didn't have time already, it's not too late to educate yourself about nicotine addiction and create a quit plan. These two steps made all the difference for me. There are lots of medical personnel that smoke--so don't feel bad about that. We're all addicted. I sounds like you don't have much time for yourself, but try to make some to help with your quit. Identifying new behaviors instead of smoking are important. I used aids to quit, and found chewing on straws, sour patch kids, deep breathing, and especially going for walks helpful. They don't have to be long walks--just go a few blocks to refocus your thoughts when you're thinking of smoking. And of course, reach out to the Ex when you need support. Having other people on your side that understand what you experiencing is great reinforcement.
One day at a time.
Barb
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- Senorstrike @ Barbscloud on Dec 2, 2020 9:39 AM
  Barb,
  Thank you so much for the helpful words of advice. I am so proud of myself for not stopping at the store on the way home. I made it through the first 24hrs and I promise not to smoke today.
  Leslie
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  - Barbscloud @ Senorstrike on Dec 2, 2020 9:45 AM
    That's fabulous. You're off to a great start on your journey to becoming smoke free.
    Barb
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Mike.n.Atlanta Dec 2, 2020 9:48 AM
Carl, Cousin-Itt is right. We all have the strength to do this. We only need the willingness to grow into the person we didn't know we wanted to be.
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Senorstrike Dec 2, 2020 9:56 AM
Honestly, I didn't think talking about it would help. I assumed this was my own personal struggle and that others should not have to listen to me complain about how I am struggling in a situation I got myself into. I am learning that just talking about it, to people who know what I am going through, is priceless.
Thank you all for the support.

I will not be stranded on this hill, there are mountains to climb- author unknown

I promise not to smoke today
Leslie
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Giulia Dec 2, 2020 1:47 PM
Welcome back to the family! Support was THE KEY ingredient that enabled me to have a long-term quit. Learning from others and having people who had been there, done that and truly understood what it felt like was a world of difference from the American Lung Assoc. meetings with some dull guy giving us facts and how tos.

"As I am typing this, I am thinking of reasons why I should just stop at the store on the way home." UNDERSTANDING EXCUSES

"I know I should be thinking of reasons why I SHOULD NOT stop." https://excommunity.becomeanex.org/thread/1846-craving-buster-techniques?commentID=104606#comment-104606 Where we dwell in our minds is how our quits will go. This technique can help: Craving Buster Technique Craving Buster Technique

You CAN. You ARE!

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Lied2Myself42Long Dec 3, 2020 7:24 PM
Leslie,
You and I could be twins or kindred spirit animals (lol) from your post I read! The good news is...you are on the right track and you WILL put cigarettes to rest once and for all! I did it One Year and 10 Months ago...and I really have no one to celebrate with about it except myself...because I was a closet smoker. And I’m okay with that. They say you should list your reason WHY you QUIT; I found it more helpful to list my reasons WHY I SMOKED. The way I did that is to pay attention to what was happening in the moment when I WANTED THAT CIGARETTE. Sometimes it was as simple as boredom with the long drive to work, other times, stress at work would have me stepping outside to take a breather..or smoke. The reason I wanted to pay attention to WHY I WAS SMOKING IN THE MOMENT was so that I could start thinking about new ways to cope, new habits to replace the nicotine fix. When you read about the physical withdrawal symptoms your body will go through, you will be able to prepare yourself for “MIND OVER MATTER.” It’s not IF it happens, it is WHEN...only a matter of time that your body will start sweating or you will feel sick to your stomach or anxious or shaky or whatever your body will try to physically do to you to get you to change your mind and smokey tokey. Knowing that your body will try and trick you into smoking will prepare you mentally to make it a game of your MIND taking control of your BODY. I used the little tic tax looking nicotine lozenges and would slip one in my mouth as a crutch at my weakest time for awhile to get rid of headaches. Soon, I was FREE! You will be too! Because, you’ve made up your mind to be free! At almost 2 years a non smoker, I can say that it does not trigger me if someone smokes and I walk by. I am able to go in the gas station stores and I’m not tempted to buy smokes. You will get there! One day at a time! I’m praying and cheering for you!
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- Senorstrike @ Lied2Myself42Long on Dec 4, 2020 12:26 PM
  I read your reply last night and I literally cried! I drove to work yesterday and today thinking, WOW I made it another day..Look at me. Then I realized I really have no one to celebrate with..haha. I wanted to go to Target last night to get a few things but I do not trust myself. I know I would have stopped and picked up my old friend. So, I made my husband go with me. He knows I smoke but he doesn't know how bad the addiction had become. I was smoking more and more. Making up errands so I could drive around and smoke. He also knows that I wanted to quit but I have said that many times and he knows not to push me about quitting. He knows I need to quit for me..not for anyone or anything else. I did not tell him I am on day 4 because I have been here before and was not successful. This time, I have support of this community. I believe I will be successful. Thanks again for your kind words!
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elvan Dec 4, 2020 3:24 PM
Welcome to EX. I have been quit for almost 7 years and I had many, many failed quits in the past. This time, I had this site, I made a plan and much like YOU, I figured out my triggers and what I could do instead of smoking. I drank gallons of water to flush the drug from my system. I was NOT a closet smoker but it certainly was getting harder and harder to find places to smoke. The place where I worked kept moving the smoking area farther and farther from the building and there was no shelter, no ashtray, nothing to make it more comfortable. After smoking, I had to climb several flights of stairs to return to work. It was getting harder and harder for me to do that without gasping for breath. I actually thanked the dean of the school for making it so hard because it really did help me. I never smoked in my house and that helped as well. I ate Sour Patch Kids to distract myself, along with frozen fruit and I spent a great deal of time on EX. I read blogs, I commented, when advice was offered, I gratefully took it. I was not able to immediately start exercising because I had been seriously ill but when I was able to start, I was thrilled at my mind and body's response. I held onto the fact that I had been told that it would get easier...I believed that, with all of my heart. I used the mantra NOPE, Not One Puff Ever and I said it countless times during the course of those first days. It DID get easier, it took time and it certainly wasn't easy at the beginning but I am so happy that I stayed committed to my quit.
Congratulations on your journey...one day at a time, sometimes, one feeling at a time.
Best to you,
Ellen
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SuzyQ411 Dec 4, 2020 8:09 PM
Senorstrike

Welcome to the EX, Leslie !
Congratutaions on *** FOUR *** DAYS *** FREE *** OF *** CIGARETTES!!
Way to go!
We here at the EX have each others' backs and I'm so glad you have joined us!
~ Suzy
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- Senorstrike @ SuzyQ411 on Dec 4, 2020 10:51 PM
  Thank you SuzyQ411. I’m here to stay! You guys are Awesome! I don’t think you realize how much I needed those words right now.. I’m hanging in there. Took some melatonin to help me sleep. The Chantix gives me nightmares and now my ears feel clogged..and now I have a ringing in the right one.. I just keep telling myself it’s only temporary.. I’ll survive the withdrawal s and the adverse effects of Chantix. Sorry to Ramble..
  I appreciate the support!
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  - SuzyQ411 @ Senorstrike on Dec 5, 2020 12:48 PM
    GO GIRL!!!
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Giulia Dec 5, 2020 1:28 PM

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SuzyQ411 Dec 11, 2020 2:10 PM
Great going Leslie Senorstrike.. I see by your home page that you have passed the 10 day mark of being smoke free!!

Great work!
Brava!
Congratulations!
Way to Go!
Wonderful News!
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Giulia Dec 14, 2020 12:22 AM
Keep on kid!
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Today's the Day

Outcomes

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