I just want to extend a happy mother's day to all you beautiful mother's out there......
I am the mother of 5, it's been easy, it's been loving, it's been beautiful, it's been hurtful, and it's been hateful......and always it's been HARD!
I was born to what many said was a beautiful woman, and yet I have no recollection of who she was, as she passed away from a rare cancer that took her from me before I was able to crawl.
I have no pictures of her holding me, I really have nothing but what I have heard, and that is very little.
I have always had a hard time on this day..... and this year is not any better, maybe even worse. I could smoke over it, BUT I WON'T, BECAUSE IT WON'T MAKE IT ANY BETTER THAN YEARS PAST!!!!!!!
Tomorrow will be my second week attending church with my brother's oldest daughter! She has a huge impact on my life, I feel like we share the same sort of burden as mothers!
I was confronted about my youngest daughter tonight, and it was very hard!
She wished me dead 3 times, (once to my face, and 2 times in an email) she said I was never there for her, and blames me for the scars she wears from cutting back in her teen years.
She wished I never got back together with her dad, and blames me for interfering with a relationship he had started with a woman he was dating, and even said this other woman would probably have been a better step mother than I was ever a mother.
I now have a black spot in my heart, and hear that she wants to make things right.......but I am not ready......
Please pray for me, and pray that somehow this black spot in my heart heals, because right now, I don't feel anything for her at all.....Makes me feel like a horrible person.
This situation will not make me go back to smoking, because smoking will never make me feel better.....but it will make my life shorter.....
Happy Mother's Day, to all you wonderful mothers out there, God Bless!
