Warning, this might be long! I've earned it!
On September 11, 2017 I had a CT Scan, because of an X-ray that came back showing some spots on one of my lungs. When the results were given to me, they were saying Ground Glass Nodules. The size was 8mm, in which case they said that I would need to have another CT Scan in 9 mos. to a year! Well, that year came up 10 days earlier than the date of my last. September 1st. Was I nervous about it, YES! Did I get through it, YES! Because after I heard spots on lungs, it was just enough for me to say, "Enough is Enough" so on September 16, 2017 I smoked for the last time I was ever going to smoke! So I woke up on September 17th, and I consider that day to be the first full day of my journey to quit for good! 43 years wasted on an addiction that was, (and still could potentially be), killing me!
I wasted 43 years thinking that it was helping me through the stresses of life. Believing that I enjoyed every single minute of it! I know now, I didn't. But man oh man, when they said those words to me, "spots on lung" I was in a state of shock..... This couldn't be happening to me, I am not that old, I still have years of life left....to live, I still have to watch my grand children (4 of them so far) grow up, I still have 3 more children that can give me more grand children, "what if" I were not ever able to meet them, Yes, right there is MY "what if"................... While I know that this is still a possibility even now that I have quit, I still ponder about it! "What if my scan isn't a good one?"
The reason I ever started this addiction to nicotine, was "rebellion" ! I was raised an abused child, physically, mentally, emotionally, and sexually! Those were my reasons for starting something that brought me to this journey today! While I am grateful for the many people I have met here today on my quit journey, I wish, oh, how I wish, that I had never started this addiction.
I know I can never go back and change that, but I can change the future by never picking another one up for the rest of my life.
I pray the new results are no different or better than the last scan, but even so, I know that no matter what, I will forever remain smoke free!
To all those here, past, present, and future, please love yourself enough to be free from nicotine and the affects it can have and leave on your body. I will not live with the regret I have for ever starting in the first place, but I will live free from ever doing it again!
I want to thank everyone who have helped me along "through" my journey and I want to welcome all who come to start theirs!
This has been and will always continue to be one of the best journeys one can make if they are addicted to nicotine and I can honestly say, I am grateful that there is a place such as EX to help myself and others, get to a life full of freedom!
To you Elder's who are most actively welcoming the Newbies, just as I was way back when, (You all know who you are, too many names to list)
Thank you for being here! Thank you for all the warm welcomes, the information you offered, (Allen Carr was my fave) and just all around a big THANK YOU! You are all awesome, and now as I enter this phase, I will do my best to help others "through" their journey to become Free from this addiction. From now on, N.O.P.E. is the only way to go, and if the thought were to ever cross my mind I will laugh it off by saying "I don't do that anymore, because S.I.N.A.O. in my life anymore!